God’s Plan

I feel like everyone has this idea in their mind about the life they want to live and the kind of person they want to become. Sometimes our life becomes blurred with trials, twists & turns. & we lose sight of who we are and what we need. God wants us to have everything He has promised to us. & that is why it is essential for God’s plan to be followed.

For me, I have always believed and valued God’s word. However, I didn’t live through it, I didn’t allow it to be the foundation of my life.  I could tell that I wasn’t as happy as I could be. & I was looking for fulfillment in all the wrong places. I was building an unhealthy attachment to people, places and things. I was seeking something I would never find in any of those aspects of life. But, I should’ve been seeking God and what he has in store for me.

I have been reluctant in the past to take on His path because that would require me to listen to all of His word not just the bits and pieces that align with what I want. I have learned over time that what I need is far more vital than what I want. Life isn’t meant to be lived to please ourselves. There is so much more to life than that. It is far more critical to look deeper and seek your spirituality and begin to recollect the person that God made you to be and the person you are suppose to become.

God’s plan may not be the plan you have for yourself. I know there are things I want that I may never receive because it is not what I need. & what I need is God & direction towards a brighter future through Him. His timing is the best timing. & not everything will always be good. But, I am willing to continue on His path & commit to follow His plan.

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How Fitness Saved Me

Going to the gym has been a part of my life for a while now. In high school, I started going to the gym. But, I wasn’t really going for the right reasons. I spent most of my time doing cardio. & I thought that my goal was to be skinny. I did lose weight but I wasn’t gaining anything physically or mentally.

In college, I started to lift weights more but not heavier. Even though I was eating more I wasn’t eating the right food to build muscle plus I was doing excess cardio. The summer of 2017 I started to eat less and less and went from my normal 115 pounds to around 110. & then when my dad passed away that I stopped going to the gym altogether.

In the new year of 2018 something clicked for me. I wasn’t sure exactly what it was. Maybe it was because of all the emotional pain I was going through that made me want to start training harder than ever before. I didn’t have someone to teach me how to lift or how to count my macro-nutrients. I  had to learn from trial and error. I still change up my workout routine but I have gained so much more than muscle over this past year, I’ve gained a new perspective of myself and who I want to be.

The gym is a mental escape for me. It has given me the ability to become healthier both physically and mentally. The gym isn’t for everyone. I use to dread going to the gym. & there are still times when I do. There are times when that is the last thing I want to do when I’ve had a long day or I’m exhausted from not enough sleep. However, I know that once I finish my workout that it will not only make me one step closer to my goals but it will lift my mood in a way nothing else can.

Lifting weights has given me confidence and the ability to love myself again. I was broken and I tried to rely on other people to help piece me back together. But, I was the one that had to do that. Not to say that God wasn’t a big reason on how I got to a better mental state. But, there were times when I was so angry with God for all of the pain I was going through. & going to the gym was sometimes the ONLY thing that would get me out of bed. & it is something that has given me the happiness and strength I have longed for.

I’m working on myself, for myself and for no one else. I’m growing. I’m changing. & most importantly I’m becoming someone better than I use to be. I could’ve resulted to drinking more or smoking weed like I use to. I could’ve tried some other unhealthy type of distraction from the pain. However, I chose to channel the pain into something great, something I wouldn’t regret. & because of that I am becoming someone stronger and more courageous than I have ever been.

Love vs. Lust

In today’s society love and lust are easily interchangeable. There is a reason why people typically seem to “fall in love” faster than ever before. It could also be because of the way media perceives love.

Usually it goes like this: Boy meets girl. Boy and girl sleep together. Now, the next part can go one of three ways. The boy and girl could pursue something more, continue just casually sleeping together or cut off contact altogether. & then something confusing happens if the boy & girl continue to sleep together. Most likely they will start to develop feelings. It is easier for the girl to become attached during this time. Even if the guy isn’t good for her the girl will convince herself based on what she feels in her heart instead of listening to her mind.

Sex clouds judgement. It makes people think that this person is “the one” because of the sexual compatibility. However, sex can make us overlook certain aspects of a person. Sex is the most intimate connection to gain with someone. & therefore, it is what can make us stay blindly in a relationship not good for us.

Lust is wanting to be intimate with someone constantly. Love is wanting to be with someone constantly. Love is sharing experiences. Lust is sharing the bed. Love is caring and selfless. Lust is selfish and carefree. Love is patient and kind. Lust is what gives us false hope for the future. Love is what makes us believe in a future.

This is why sex is suppose to be saved for marriage. Couples who wait until they are married are way less likely to become divorced. Sex is what connects people. If you aren’t the kind of person who can abstain from sex. It is critical to at least really take time to know someone before moving forward to the intimate relationship you want. Sex can make you settle, rob you of happiness and prevent you from finding true love. It is vital to wait for someone that is deserving of your heart, mind, body & soul. Anyone can be sexually compatible. It is the way we are made. However, not everyone is emotionally and spiritually compatible for you. It is important to fight the urge and wait for as long as you can to make the decision. It will be in your heart’s best interest. & will save you a lot of heartbreak down the road.

Pray Often

Something I have had to come to terms with over the past few years is how people can easily come and go from my life. People aren’t promised in life to always be there. However, God has promised to always be there. No matter what He is here with me. He is there in my darkest moments when I am scared, anxious or upset.

I don’t always feel Him with me.  & sometimes I question His motives in my life or question who He is. But, He doesn’t stray away from me no matter what kind of doubts I may have. & in those moments of doubt I pray. Once I am able to gain more clarity I feel like I have a closer more fulfilling relationship with Him.

When I am feeling hopeless and confused are the times I should pray the most. Sometimes I don’t pray as I should or I ask for things that I may not receive. God knows what I need and He can give that to me whether it is what I have asked for or not. I pray because I feel relieved when I do. I pray because it helps me build a stronger connection with God. & I know He will be able to be there for me in a way that no one else can.

& I believe that no matter what you believe in you should pray. Pray for a better life and for your loved ones. Pray for a better world and future. Pray for positive outcomes and courage to push forward. Praying is essential for life and even if people don’t believe in God I would still encourage them to put their energy into the universe. God loves His children & I believe there are ways the universe gives back to what we have given it.

Isaiah 41:10

“So do not fear, for I am with you;
    do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Be Brave

It is even in the toughest times that being brave is so essential. It is when I am scared of the result that I should push forward even harder. It is when I am scared of rejection or failure that I should keep going. Being brave isn’t about just not being afraid its about pushing yourself to reach new heights in your life. It is about striving to go forward to become the person God has destined you to be. Being brave can mean a lot of things to a lot of different people, but to me it means to live life to the fullest without regret. & to do so I have to be brave. Any day could be my last day and I need to attempt to put aside my fear so that I can live the best possible life.

Happiness In Your Career Matters

Money Won’t Complete You

I remember reading a statistic that states after a certain amount of money your level of happiness doesn’t go up. It wasn’t $100,000 either. It was just around 50,000 dollars. After that, our joy of raises or making more money is only short lived. Money matters the most to people when we want it to be able to cover all of the utilities, bills and other types of life necessities. I mean yes, money can buy all sorts of “happiness.” More money usually gives us the ability to buy nicer things and go on better vacations. But, for most people constantly spending money is only a means of filling some sort of void. Money doesn’t make you who you are and it doesn’t make you superior to someone else. It can make you be able to buy things how you please. And that in itself is not the best way to live.

Career Change

I remember when I first picked nursing as a career I wanted to pursue. It was a career that offered growth, opportunity and I would be able to make good money doing it. Aside from those main bullet points I wanted to help people which is still my deepest desire in life. But, I didn’t pick this career for the right reasons or because it was a career I thought fit me best. I picked it because it was there and ready for the chasing. It was a dream I chased in high school and started chasing my way through college. It wasn’t until I got into nursing school and did some soul searching did I find myself not able to wrap my heart around this as my passion. It was when I  sat in an orientation seminar for nursing school that I found myself lost. I was lost somewhere that was suppose to pull me closer to myself.

This was a turning point for me. I was finally able to admit to myself that this wasn’t what I wanted. & then I was able to catch sight of something that maybe was. I started down a path to look into occupational therapy. I went back to finish my bachelor’s and I wanted to learn more about this career. & guess what? It offered more money & more growth than nursing. It made me feel like this was what I was looking for.

Why I Picked Wrong Again

The careers I was choosing wasn’t based on who I was. It was based on what I thought I wanted. I thought I wanted a career that offered a good starting salary and the opportunity to advance in my education so that I could become more successful. But, these careers aren’t what I am destined to do because they aren’t careers that align with my strengths as a person. My inner soul would never be truly satisfied by these careers because they aren’t what would bring me closer to my true authentic self.

What Completes Me

My heart hurts for the girl I use to be. The woman I was trying to convince myself that I was. I feel sorry for her but she isn’t me anymore. I am not someone who will easily give up or stop trying when things get tough. That isn’t why I have changed my mind. It is because God is guiding me towards something far better than I would’ve imagined for myself. & I feel like I have fought back from letting it in for a long time. I knew I needed to focus in on what my strengths are as a person and how those can align with what I’m not only gifted at but what I would love to do.

I know that helping people through their difficult moments and coaching them to the right solution is something I have always done with my friends, family and even in my other work environments. It is that moment that someone is able to have clarity in their life and use my advice to their advantage that fills me with purpose. So, I have set out to apply for graduate school to become a counselor. Going to a counselor myself solidified that it was what I need to do. It is when I step out of a coaching session with my counselor and I am able to come closer to healing and learning more about myself that I feel utterly relieved. It is something that has brought me to a better place and it is what I want to become in order to provide that for someone else.

I believe that sometimes it takes failure or even going down a wrong path (maybe a few) to bring you right where you need to be. After graduate school, I see big things for myself. I see myself opening up my own practice, getting certified in grief counseling and maybe getting a PhD and writing a book.  I know that I may change my mind on exactly what I want to do. However, I will still feel accomplished no matter what because this is the right path for me. I feel as if the universe and God are directing me towards a new kind a life. Not everything in my life will be easy. It will be challenging and I will have to work hard to achieve what I want. But, at least it will be a life that will provide me with happiness. & happiness is definitely something worth living for and striving towards.

“Choose a job you love, and you will never work a day in your life.”

-Confucius

Never Settle For Less

How A New Relationship Works

In the midst of finding yourself in a new relationship you feel overjoyed at the ability to really be able to connect with someone new. It feels as if the universe has aligned you with this new person and you fantasize about the new possibilities the future has for the both of you. You may also find yourself making this new person a priority over others or your hobbies causing your new partner to become the center of your life.

My Experience & What It Taught Me

In my last relationship I made my world revolve around my ex. We started to date when I was in high school and I hung out with friends and had other activities I participated in then. However, when we went to college together I made him the main priority in my life. He was my best friend and I felt like I only ever wanted to be with him. I didn’t seem to care about making more connections and friendships in college.

After three years we broke up. It was when I was alone that I regretted my decision on making him such a primary person in my life. It also took us breaking up for me to realize that I had been chasing a career that was far from what I truly wanted. It took me experiencing heart break and pain to come to terms with the life that I wasn’t fully living.

Why He Wasn’t The One

It was me who always tried to plan things and push him to be better. It was me who wanted more for us and our relationship. It was me who wanted to fight for us and what we had. He never challenged me or himself. I feel like he did have love for me but not on the same level of love I had for him. I put him on this pedestal because of how in love I was with him. But, honestly we were never going to be right for each other and I was surely never going to grow with him. It was his loss and my gain. It was him walking away from us that gave me more of a sense of self. It gave me the ability to know what I do and don’t want in a person.

He wasn’t a bad first love but I do realize now how much more I deserve. It is in that moment of realization that all of the relationship can be truly seen for what it is. It is in that moment where you realize that life is full of lessons. & one of the biggest lessons I have taken away from going through heart break is to never settle for less. It is important to be patient and attract the right kind of partner by working on yourself. It is when you start working on bettering and loving yourself that you will find someone that is a good match for every part of who you are. Don’t lose sight of what you deserve. Real authentic love is out there and it starts with you.