Going to the gym has been a part of my life for a while now. In high school, I started going to the gym. But, I wasn’t really going for the right reasons. I spent most of my time doing cardio. & I thought that my goal was to be skinny. I did lose weight but I wasn’t gaining anything physically or mentally.
In college, I started to lift weights more but not heavier. Even though I was eating more I wasn’t eating the right food to build muscle plus I was doing excess cardio. The summer of 2017 I started to eat less and less and went from my normal 115 pounds to around 110. & then when my dad passed away that I stopped going to the gym altogether.
In the new year of 2018 something clicked for me. I wasn’t sure exactly what it was. Maybe it was because of all the emotional pain I was going through that made me want to start training harder than ever before. I didn’t have someone to teach me how to lift or how to count my macro-nutrients. I had to learn from trial and error. I still change up my workout routine but I have gained so much more than muscle over this past year, I’ve gained a new perspective of myself and who I want to be.
The gym is a mental escape for me. It has given me the ability to become healthier both physically and mentally. The gym isn’t for everyone. I use to dread going to the gym. & there are still times when I do. There are times when that is the last thing I want to do when I’ve had a long day or I’m exhausted from not enough sleep. However, I know that once I finish my workout that it will not only make me one step closer to my goals but it will lift my mood in a way nothing else can.
Lifting weights has given me confidence and the ability to love myself again. I was broken and I tried to rely on other people to help piece me back together. But, I was the one that had to do that. Not to say that God wasn’t a big reason on how I got to a better mental state. But, there were times when I was so angry with God for all of the pain I was going through. & going to the gym was sometimes the ONLY thing that would get me out of bed. & it is something that has given me the happiness and strength I have longed for.
I’m working on myself, for myself and for no one else. I’m growing. I’m changing. & most importantly I’m becoming someone better than I use to be. I could’ve resulted to drinking more or smoking weed like I use to. I could’ve tried some other unhealthy type of distraction from the pain. However, I chose to channel the pain into something great, something I wouldn’t regret. & because of that I am becoming someone stronger and more courageous than I have ever been.