How A New Relationship Works
In the midst of finding yourself in a new relationship you feel overjoyed at the ability to really be able to connect with someone new. It feels as if the universe has aligned you with this new person and you fantasize about the new possibilities the future has for the both of you. You may also find yourself making this new person a priority over others or your hobbies causing your new partner to become the center of your life.
My Experience & What It Taught Me
In my last relationship I made my world revolve around my ex. We started to date when I was in high school and I hung out with friends and had other activities I participated in then. However, when we went to college together I made him the main priority in my life. He was my best friend and I felt like I only ever wanted to be with him. I didn’t seem to care about making more connections and friendships in college.
After three years we broke up. It was when I was alone that I regretted my decision on making him such a primary person in my life. It also took us breaking up for me to realize that I had been chasing a career that was far from what I truly wanted. It took me experiencing heart break and pain to come to terms with the life that I wasn’t fully living.
Why He Wasn’t The One
It was me who always tried to plan things and push him to be better. It was me who wanted more for us and our relationship. It was me who wanted to fight for us and what we had. He never challenged me or himself. I feel like he did have love for me but not on the same level of love I had for him. I put him on this pedestal because of how in love I was with him. But, honestly we were never going to be right for each other and I was surely never going to grow with him. It was his loss and my gain. It was him walking away from us that gave me more of a sense of self. It gave me the ability to know what I do and don’t want in a person.
He wasn’t a bad first love but I do realize now how much more I deserve. It is in that moment of realization that all of the relationship can be truly seen for what it is. It is in that moment where you realize that life is full of lessons. & one of the biggest lessons I have taken away from going through heart break is to never settle for less. It is important to be patient and attract the right kind of partner by working on yourself. It is when you start working on bettering and loving yourself that you will find someone that is a good match for every part of who you are. Don’t lose sight of what you deserve. Real authentic love is out there and it starts with you.