Living With Grief

If you don’t feel through it, you won’t get through it.

I am a firm believer in feeling through your emotions even if that means it is a painful thing to do. Pain is essential to growth and healing. People that don’t spend time grieving can often have the unresolved grief appear years later which can make it even more painful and difficult to manage. It is beneficial to allow yourself to feel & grieve when needed. Keeping yourself busy, taking up new activities and generating goals for yourself are important to move forward. However, don’t do these things as a means of pure distraction.

It is important to try to fill your life with happiness but it that shouldn’t mean avoiding your feelings. While it is good to stay busy and focused it is also just as good to give yourself breaks to think, self-reflect and feel the emotions if needed. It may be hard to allow yourself to do so but healing from pain is what causes growth and for me it has been a motivator to push forward.

Everyone Experiences Grief Differently

Grief is what people feel when they lose someone or something of great value to them. This can happen when someone goes through a breakup, loss of a job, or the death of a loved one. Most people will experience a form or many forms of grief throughout their life. It is a difficult process to go through and even can be scary to face. & no one experiences the same kind of grief.

When my dad passed away, I had multiple people confront me and tell me about the loss of their loved ones. I will never forget the remarks only a few people made to me. They had told me that even though we lost the same person in our lives my grief process would be far different than theirs.

We all possess differences. We all have different backgrounds, cultures and experiences. So, it makes sense that no one would have the same journey with their grief as I would. This made me feel that even though I have the ability to relate to others it also gave me the ability to free expectations others had of me with where I was with my grief.

Uniqueness is Greatness

My grief journey is unique to me. However, there have been times when I felt those similar emotions that everyone feels. I’ve felt angry, denial and depression but not always in that order and sometimes it was in a never ending cycle. There aren’t always specific stages that will determine your grief duration or intensity. It is specific to you.

Don’t be afraid to go weeks or months without feeling something and then you feel it again. It doesn’t mean you are broken. It doesn’t mean you aren’t healing. It means you are human & as a human it is your right to be able to feel. It is a blessing to be able to feel. So, feel through the pain and make it your own. It will make you appreciate love & happiness more. & eventually you may find it empowering when you start to build on that pain to be able to create your better self. The pain will guide you towards who you are suppose to be.

Whenever I feel like I want to give up. I always think of the way my dad would want me to live. & he would want me to live life to its fullest capacity and chase all of the dreams that I want to make for myself. So, that is exactly what I do. It is okay to fall but get back up and live again.


2 thoughts on “Living With Grief

  1. When I lost my Mom a year ago September, the grief and pain almost destroyed me. For a very LONG time I thought I had lost me, and my sanity along with me. I was torn literally to shreds and my grief so deep there is no way I can possibly put that into words. Turning to Mother Nature, just one day after many many months of such darkness, I seemed to burst through a barrier and since then I’ve been flowering in a way never before seen in me. I’ve changed. I’m different. In a very good way. Stronger. Wiser. And I have so much understanding of why some people never recover from a Loved One’s death. Powerful post and I thank you for not only posting it but for giving me space to write what I did. Bless you! 💝

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m sorry about the loss of your mother. I agree, I think it certainly takes time to find yourself again especially without that person that you held so close to your heart. Sometimes I feel better only to feel worse once again. There is no timeline for recovery. It can only happen in your own time. I wish you the best of luck finding and creating your new improved self!

    Liked by 1 person

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