Don’t Neglect Your Time Alone

Personal Growth Is Important

It is true that you don’t know who you truly are until you are alone. I’m not talking about alone as in you still go on dates and have a bunch of other potential partners that you talk to. I’m talking about months of being in complete solitude. After the last guy  encounter I had (awful) I decided that when the new year started I was going to go on a  dating fast for 3 months (& it feels like it is still going…). But, it has been good for me. I personally dedicated those 3 months to Christ to get to know Him & to journal. & at first it felt unusual not depending on someone else to do nice things for me or to give me compliments. However, it gave me the chance to read some great books about dating & personal growth & do a lot of self-reflection. This allowed me to get to a better understanding of who I was and the kind of person I want to become. I believe that not being dependent on another person gave me the chance to tap into a side of myself I never knew.

On the flip side…

There are a lot of people who are able to always be in a relationship and still experience growth. But, I believe that real growth comes from within. It comes when you are reading a book in total silence or laughing by yourself to your favorite Netflix show. Real personal growth comes from loving who you are and enjoying yourself especially in the midst of being alone. It’s about seeing your flaws and fixing the ones you can and accepting the ones you can’t because you realize that you are beautiful anyways. There were instances when I dreaded being alone or I was sad that no one was there to comfort me. However, I have learned so much about myself and that has made me grow into more of who I am for the right person. I needed time alone to be able to grow so that when the right person comes along we can have the ability to grow stronger together.

Books I’d Especially Recommend

Side Note: These books are in no particular order. Some of the books are coming from a religious standpoint but still have a lot of good information. The last four books are from a Catholic perspective. I am not Catholic but I still really enjoyed these books.

Successful Women Think Differently: 9 Habits to Make You Happier, Healthier, and More Resilient By: Valerie Burton

Courage By: Debbie Ford

Getting Back Out There: Secrets to Successful Dating and Finding Real Love After the Big Breakup By: Susan J. Elliot

Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss Into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You By: Susan J. Elliot

How to Find Your Soulmate Without Losing Your Soul: 21 Secrets for Women By: Crystalina Evert & Jason Evert

If You Really Loved Me By: Jason Evert

Dating Detox: 40 Days of Perfecting Love in an Imperfect World By: Kevin Cotter (I read this twice during my dating detox).

Emotional Virtue By: Sarah Swafford



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